How to Live in Phoenix

If you lived here in Phoenix and it was 117 degrees,

You would cut your hair often believing that this would keep you cool.

It actually will not.

Lovely Webcam photo.

And you would buy really cute Vera Wang Flip Flops

 from Kohl's with your Kohl's cash so they only cost $4.00.

Obviously it is not necessarily important to get a pedicure

or paint your toenails.

Or shave your big toe.

And anytime you get in the car,

You must have the necessities.

Diet Mountain Dew for the Mister.

Diet Coke in an environmentally incorrect Styrofoam cup for me.

Don't judge me.

And a granola bar.

And a hat.

Heading out shortly to meet Jo for some retail therapy.

She's says she has gray roots

so I'm not going to worry about shaving my toe.

No cameras allowed today.

Holly

xxx-ooo

First I Smelled it.

First I smelled it.

Then I heard it.

Then I saw it.

I walked into the kitchen this morning and couldn't believe my nose.

"What the H*E*Double Hockey sticks is that?"

(except there were no double hockey sticks)

I wandered around the kitchen smelling

the garbage can,

the refrigerator,

the garbage disposal,

then the pantry.

And then I heard it.

Somewhere in the bottom of the pantry.

A small  bubbling sound.

Did an errant can of Diet Coke spring a leak?

No.

Then I saw it.

MMmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Nothing says cooking like a big old frothy and foamy bag of red potatoes.

Holly

xxx-ooo

It's Not all Hearts and Roses Around Here

Oh you have one.

You know you do.

That little shoebox of romantic keepsakes from your early relationship days.

Don't even stand there rolling your eyes at me.

When was the last time you looked through it?

Go get it, I'll get mine and let's compare.

This is going to be so fun!

And all romanticy.

The shoebox:

Hmmm......seems to be mostly cards in here.

What's that on top?

Oh my Gosh!  A bingo card! 

Well, I could tell you stories about that!

See this one time, Brian and I were....

ummm

We went to this Bingo ummmm

I have no idea what that Bingo card is from.

I don't remember playing Bingo since I was like 6.

Let's move on.

I can't believe I still have this cork!

I thought I'd lost it!

As you can see it's dated 2/11/07 which is the day we

ummmm

hmm.

I have no idea. 

That date holds no significant meaning for me.

I wonder if it should.

The strange thing is that neither one of us drink wine.

EVER!

So, if this is yours and it found it's way to my box accidentally,

and February 11, 2007 holds some wonderful significance for you,

Let me know, I'll send it your way.

Now, this I do remember.

We were married in Laughlin and this was the baggage claim check from the hotel.

Notice it says "Glebens" on it.

Our last name is "Blevins".

All weekend the hotel staff called us Mr. and Mrs. Glebens.

What else is in here?

Ohhhhh!

Nothing says "LOVE" like a pair of NASCAR ticket stubs.

So glad I kept those.

And our fortunes from Big Heng's, down the street.

"Life is a flower of which love is the honey."

For some reason I found them to be box worthy.

Just gag me.

Other than a bunch of generic birthday and anniversary cards,

that's about it.

My romantic life for ya'll to see.

Makes you feel all warm and squishy inside, doesn't it?

Oh and for some reason,

this card was also in the box.

It was a birthday card to me

from my son.

Holly

xxx-ooo

Sometimes We Don't Act Right.

Sometimes you go to meet other blog people for lunch.

You're not sure what to talk about.

It's awkward and uncomfortable.

Today was not like that.

At all.

I met up with Jo and Pat at Paradise Bakery.

These two women are a hoot!

I've met Jo for lunch once before and knew she would be a

forever friend.

I had never met Pat before.

Pat lives in Canada but has a vacation home here in Surprise.

It was great to get to spend the day with these two.

Aren't they cute??!!

The two girls ordered a Strawberry poppyseed chicken salad

that looked really good

but neither one of them offered me a bite.

Even though I shared my cookie with them.

What's up with that?

I think this guy kinda had a crush on Jo.

He was darling.

Even if the food was bad,

I think we'd go back just to see him.

After lunch we went to Pier 1 Imports

to look around and then to Michaels

where we couldn't resist some of the 4th of July decor.

And we went to Target.

Because that's how we roll.

And then things got a tad out of hand.

I just have to say

people are so nice.

When three bloggers are walking around

carrying three cameras

and asking strangers to take their pictures

 with three different cameras.

We were feeling very festive.

But sometimes even bloggers get tired

of having their pictures taken.

Just got home and I already want a Do-Over.

Love you Girls.

Holly

xxx-ooo

Blogger has Done it Again

I will stand by you.

I will not leave your side.

When Blogger makes you feel sorry for yourself.

When they once again make you feel alone.

And they take your friends away.

Leaving you to wonder,

what have I done?

Where did you go?

Rest assured,

I will be here.

Holly

xx-oo

The Post Where I Talk About Food and Become Quite Snarky

Does this happen to you?

I go grocery shopping, come home hungry and can't find anything to eat.

No?

Oh, me neither then.

I'm in a food rut.

I buy the same old things week after week.

I'm never happy with my choices when I look for something to make for lunch.

I stare into the fridge believing that something exciting will materialize.

That leprechauns have come in during the night and stocked my pantry.

I get mad.

I only have myself to blame.

I do all the shopping.

So why do I keep buying the same boring stuff?

Habit?

Lack of imagination?

Fear of spending money on new food only to find it's grody?

I have no idea.

But today will be different.

I have a plan.

I'm making out my list this morning.

Going to buy the usual stuff.

Bread, milk, ding dongs, you know, the essentials.

And then I'm just going to find someone to follow and throw the same stuff into my cart that they do.

Daring, yes?

The problem is locating the right sort of person.

I don't want to follow her.

Because, like I said, I already have Ding Dongs on my list.

And I don't want to follow her.

Because obviously, she's only there for beauty supplies and I need food.

This guy may seem promising

but I'm afraid I would only come away with potatoes, okra, and chafing cream.

I'm on a mission though.

Drastic measures and all that.

I will be interested to see what ends up in my cart.

I'll keep you posted.

Holly

xx-oo

Because You Asked

Because you asked, I will list some things about me that you may not know.


• I am sarcastic. I find sarcasm in others quite annoying.
  I don’t find myself annoying though.


• I work from home and never leave the house unless I absolutely
   have to because leaving the house requires me to shower and do
   my hair.


• My husband, Brian, and I have only been married for 4 ½ years.
  I like him a lot.


• When I was young I made a hit list. The only two names that I
   remember on it were Dave Killman (a rather large man who
   sat on one of our kitchen chairs and broke it) and Art Linkletter
   (because apparently my  mother met him once and he wasn’t very
    nice to her).


• I break out in hives on my arms and my eyebrows itch every time
   we go out of town.


• I am addicted to raspberry lemonade Chap Stick.
  I apply it at least thirty times a day.
  I have tubes stashed all over the house.


• I could live without a television.
  The only time I turn it on is about 5 minutes before I fall asleep.


• I would love to live in a cottage style house or a bungalow.
  I will never buy a stucco house again. Ever!


• I don’t sweat much in the summer;
   I sweat in the winter when I’m cold.


• Guacamole is my favorite food group.


• I have an aversion to blue ink pens.


• When I was young, my sister told me that if I went to bed
   with a moth in my room, it would sew my mouth closed while
   I was sleeping and I would starve to death.
   To this day, when I see a moth, I cover my mouth.


• I really want to like alcohol.
  I want to have a cocktail in the evenings every once in a while.
  It sounds fancy. Like on Bewitched.
  But I don’t like the taste of any of it.


• When I go back to Indiana to visit, my favorite thing to do
   as soon as I get off the plane is to rent a car and just drive.
   I don’t look at a map; I just drive down country roads
   and get lost. I never make plans to meet up with anyone
   until the following day because I never know where I’ll end up.


• When I was young, I wanted to be either a playground attendant
   or a Quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.


• I may have lied a little; no one asked me for this list.

Holly

xx-oo

Giveaway!

My followers all decided to come back last night.
I knew you would all feel guilty and start following me again.
To celebrate this occasion I decided to host a giveaway.
Aren't giveaways fun?

Even if you don't want the crap it's still fun to win something.

You can always give it to someone else.

Well, I have crap!!

Want it?

Up for grabs:

Handmade striped apron.

Made by me.

Or:

Red Gingham apron.

I'm not sure how old this is, I got it from an estate sale.

It's in wonderful condition.

Or:

Full pink gingham apron.

Also found at an estate sale, in great condition.

(Dog in background is not included)

There will be other treats thrown in the box as well.

I have no idea what they will be.

I haven't cleaned out from under my bed

or behind my refrigerator yet.

Rules for giveaway:

Leave me a comment.

Tell me which apron you would like.

Be sure I have some way to contact you.

I will draw a name on Wednesday, June 1st.

And that's it.

Almost.

I found something interesting that I thought I would share.

Did you know:

This year,

 July has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays?

This happens once every 823 years.

Also,

Take the last two digits of the year in which you were born -

 now add the age you will be this year,

The results will be 111 for everyone.

Is anyone else freaked out a little or is it just me?

Holly

xxx-ooo

How Bad Do you Want It?

Yesterday, we talked about Blog Fodder.

When I say "we", I mean me.  I just don't want to feel alone.

It got me thinking about how hard it can be to come up with blog material.

How bad do you want it?

Are you willing to embarrass yourself?

Embarrass those around you?

Prostitute yourself for the sake of your followers?

Yes?

I knew you were as sick as I am.

The thing is, I work from home.

I rarely have to leave the house.

My lack of human interaction has become a hindrance on my blogging.

I know that in order to find adequate material I must poke my nose out of my cave and go in search of it.

Sometimes you can't find it and you have to get the ball rolling.

Take the first step.

Create your own destiny.

I've come up with a few suggestions

for those of you that are in dire need of material.

Are you willing to go the extra mile?

1)  Take a walk downtown and take pictures of strangers. 

     Then take out a notebook and ask them,

     "How many copies will you be needing of that?"

2)  When the A/C repair man comes to your door,

      give him a big hug and say, "That's from Holly".

      I'm pretty sure Jo did that one yesterday.

3)  When standing in line at the bank, turn around to

      the person behind you and say,

      "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4)  Call Pizza Hut and ask if they rent pizzas.

5)  While walking down the street, hold out your Slurpee

      in front of a stranger  and say,

    "Seriously man, you've got to try this!"

And then blog about it. 

Double Dog Dare Ya!

Holly

xx-oo



Crack Hoes Cannot Be Trusted!!!!

I am so alone.

Oh, yes, I used to have friends.

Friends who confided in me.

Told me their secrets.

Shared their inner most thoughts.

Their fears, dreams, and sorrows.

That was then.

Before blog fodder.

What is blog fodder, you ask?

1. blog fodder (n)
interesting idea, story, or link.
Referred to as blog fodder when your first reaction is to use it in your blog.

I used to walk into a room full of people and hear,

"Hey Holly, over here!!"

Now, I hear, "Shut up, here she comes."

Suffice it to say, if I happen to have my camera with me, people scatter as though I have the plague.

Let me give an example.  I was talking to a friend the other day and the conversation went something like this:

Holly:  So, what happened?

Friend: If I tell you, you're not going to post it on your blog, right?

Holly:  What?  How could you think I would p

Friend:  I'm serious, you're not, right?

Holly:  Of course I won't post it on

Friend:  Holly!!  I mean it!

Holly:  Fine!   Just don't say anything remotely funny. 

Come on People!

What is wrong with you!

You were NOTHING before I put you on my blog!

You were NO ONE!

Now millions of people laugh at you.

This is the thanks I get?

(Ok, millions might be an overstatement)

But I think you can see where I'm going with this.

It's true.

I can no longer be trusted.

Not with secrets.

Not with family photo albums.

Blog fodder is my crack.

I seek it out.

I will go to the dirtiest darkest places to find it.

I need it.

I NEED IT!

I'll sell out my family and friends to get it.

I'll lie, cheat and steal.

I only need a little bit to get me through.

I can stop at any time.

I just need one teeny tiny idea.

One tiny glimpse of humor to get the ball rolling.

And then I'm off, my fingers tap- tap- tapping away.

My head thrown back.

Brahahahaha!

Selling my soul.

Taking you all with me.

And if all that fails, I'll make crap up.

I can't be trusted.

Also, my father has grounded me because of yesterdays post and I've been told to return the family photo album.

Holly

xx-oo



It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses an Eye

I'm not above using my family's most embarrassing photos for blog material.

You are shocked, are you not?

I have no shame in doing this as long as I am not in the pictures.

My father entrusted me with the family photo album.

I have no idea what happened there, he used to be such a wise man.

When my sister and I were young, we spent every weekend

at our Grandparents house.

Every weekend!

We loved this.

We adored our grandparents and they enjoyed having us.

It never occurred to us that this was a rather strange situation.

Until just a couple of years ago.

My sister and I were talking and remembered those weekends.

"Why do you think we went to Grandma's every weekend when we were little?" I asked her.

"What were Mom and Dad doing when we were gone?" she asked.

Let's take a peek at the family photo album, shall we?

Now, I can't tell you exactly what was going on here.

But this was our living room.

Notice the lovely floral couch and the green shag carpet.

Apparently, this was a game where the husbands rolled up their pant legs and the wives were blindfolded and had to find their husbands by feeling their legs.

I'm not positive about this but I'm assuming that copious amounts of alcohol were involved.

I'm not judging.

We must remember, this was before the invention of Wii Bowling.

Before Pictionary.

But for crying out loud Dad!

They did have poker and ping pong in those days, didn't they??!!!

Holly

xxx-ooo

Calling all Red Heads

I very rarely do reviews on products on my blog.

Because I know so little about so many things.

The vastness of my ignorance would astound you.

But I wanted to share this product with you.

I grew up as a blond.

Who apparently didn't own a comb.

And my hair got darker as I got older.

And my dresses got shorter.

And through high school my hair turned a dark brown with red highlights.

And I've been dying my hair red for the past 15 years.

Anyone with red color treated hair knows that it is the hardest color to maintain.

It looks wonderful for the first week, then it fades.

Mine turns brassy.

Orangy.

It's not a good look.

I've tried color safe shampoos and conditioners like John Frieda's Radiant Red

Captivating Collection.

Which did absolutely nothing for me.

I've tried John Frieda's Color Glaze.

Which left my hair greasy and my palms stained but my hair still orange.

I finally found a product that not only helps to maintain my color but it deposits color into my hair.

I went to an Aveda Salon for a haircut and was told that they could make a special conditioner for me.

It's called Aveda's Personal Blends.

I chose the color and the scent and my stylist added them to my conditioner.

She used red and violet to counteract the gold, brassy undertones.

I was about due for a color but decided to try this instead.

I washed my hair then applied the conditioner and left it on for about 5 minutes.

I was amazed after I dried my hair.

It looked as though I had just had it done.

It was shiny and the brassiness was gone.

I'm finding that I only need to use this about once a week to maintain my color.

And I am loving that!

It was $15.00 for a 6.7 oz bottle.

But so worth it.

I know that they can make this for any hair color so if you find that you are coloring your locks a lot more often than you want to, you may want to give this a try.

Holly

xxx-ooo

Pickles and Weird Emails

While in New Mexico, my sister and I were discussing recipes. 

I told her I wanted to make pickles and she said she makes quick pickles. 

I forgot to get her recipe so I Googled it. 

 I had acquired some small cucumbers a while back from someone who had an abundance of them and knew I wanted to try this.

We like pickles in these here parts.

Quick Pickles

• 1 cup of distilled white vinegar
• 2 tbsp granulated sugar
• 4 tbsp water
• 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1 tsp dry dill weed
• 2 cloves of garlic, lightly smashed
• 1 tsp red pepper flakes
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 cucumbers, cut into thick slices

I doubled this recipe and used 6 small cucumbers.

Begin by adding the vinegar, water, sugar, salt, garlic, and peppers to a sauce pan and bring to a boil, stirring well to mix in the sugar.  Once boiling, remove from the heat, and add the dill weed. Let the pickling mixture completely cool. Add in the bay leaves.

To a clean mason jar, add the cut cucumbers, arranging them the best you can. Pour in the cooled mixture, cover, and let sit in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, however overnight is probably best. When you are ready, open and serve. Now you have pickles any day of the week, and is probably much more affordable than getting them at your local market.

These are good in the refrigerator for a couple of weeks, then they get pretty soft. They typically do not last that long in the refrigerator though.

I wish I could give credit to the blogger who posted this recipe but I don't remember who it was. 

(Bad Blogger Etiquette)

On a side note, my husband calls cucumbers "Home Wreckers". 

That's funny, unless my father is reading this.

Then, I have no idea what he is referring to.

Here's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.

Remember Mondays with Max?

Well, Dad sent me this email today after reading that post.

Hi Kid: 

"Mondays with Max" reminds me of "Tuesdays with Morrie".  Remember that? 

Morrie was this old guy that was dieing & every Tuesday a young friend visited and wrote down his words of wisdom which turned into a book and made the young man rich. 

This made me wonder if asked, could I come up with any words of wisdom? 

The only thing that comes to mind is "use your turn signals"....Good luck on getting rich.

Love Ya...dad

And my sister always said I was adopted.

If that ain't proof, nothing is.

Holly

xx-oo

I'm Crushed

I've always developed crushes very easily.

It's just been a "me" thing.

Before my teenage years, I had crushes on these three.

Bucky Dent

Donny Osmond

Gene Autry

I know, right?

I even remember writing a letter to Gene Autry to invite him to my birthday party.

And then in my teenage years, I developed crushes on

Rex Smith

I still melt like warm caramel over a hot brownie when I listen to this and I wanted to change my name to Jessy.

listen here Simply Jessy

And every single one of my sister's boyfriends except a young man named Frankie, who wore his belt sideways with the buckle on his hip.  I asked him why he was with my sister since he was so obviously gay.

My teenage years were not my best. 

Frankie, wherever you are, I apologize for being mean to you and I sincerely hope that you and your husband are happy.

At the ripe old age of 45, I still develop crushes. 

Like these guys

Dr. Oz

Dr. Phil

Gerald McRaney

But all in all, I'm so very glad I ended up with this guy.

I "crush" on him every day.

Holly

xxx-ooo