Jason and Shawn review: The Loved Ones and Alien Vs. Ninja

The Loved Ones

Jason: Wow, what an experience. I've never gone from hating a movie to loving it before. But I did here. Believe it! The first 40 minutes or so are disjointed and weird. Then the film has a brilliant turning point and it all comes together in the best possible way. Robin McLeavy is a revelation as Lola, one of the creepiest movie villains of all time. Her family makes the one from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre seem oddly tame. This is a disturbing and crazy film that is also a lot of fun. I have to give it a Good.

Shawn: This is kind of Hostel meets All the Boys Love Mandy Lane, but way better than both. It starts off kinda slow, but man . . . I really dug this movie. The characters were nicely built, and there is some twisted shit that was also pure coolness. The film is loaded with some great gore, great intensity, sex and pure insanity. And zombies! Kinda. A Good for me on this.

Alien Vs. Ninja

Jason: Predator meets Enter the Ninja by way of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers with a hard-R rating. That's the best way to describe Alien Vs. Ninja. No one, but no one, makes movies like the Japanese. This is an insane movie. Batshit insane. The kind that needs to be a cult hit. It's a bad movie that's so full of campy humour and over-the-top fight scenes that it's hard not to like. Great martial arts choreography as well. A Good from me!

Shawn: This movie started off having all the potential to rank up there with the great old-school kung fu movies I watched as a kid, with an alien twist. Decent story, decent characters, great martial arts, great gore. Then ONE fight, just one, ruined the entire movie. The fight between the female ninja and the alien was dumb. They made sexual references between the alien and the girl during the fight and it was stupid. Mood ruiner extraordinaire. That alone almost made Alien Vs. Ninja an Ugly, but it's a Bad for me in the end.

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