Micro Review: 2010 Moby Dick

Only the folks at The Asylum would dare take Herman Melville's classic and update it into a high-tech, B-grade horror story -- a Jaws on steroids along the lines of their Mega Shark series. And only The Asylum would cast Xena's Renee O'Connor as The Narrator and Mega Force's Barry Bostwick as Capt. Ahab, now the commander of a U.S. Navy submarine. Actually, it all sounds better than it is. The effects are decent by Asylum standards and some of the dialogue is take directly from Melville's book. But it's still standard direct-to-DVD stuff. A Bad from me.

Jason and Shawn review: Cropsey and Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

Cropsey

Jason: This is a great piece of journalism, a whodunit that already has a culprit . . . or alleged culprit as the case may be. I like how Barbera Brancaccio and Joshua Zeman did their best to offer all sides of the case, showing the circumstantial evidence that led to Andre Rand's conviction but also revealing enough proof to understand why he was convicted and remains incarcerated. The crimes, with so many missing and presumed murdered children, are frightening. Seeing the impact the case still has on the community and the families is like a punch in the gut. This is a real horror story, and it's a compelling one. A Good review from me.

Shawn: Seeing the creepy, abandoned mental hospital with its tunnels and disarray was frightening, especially when you consider we've got one of those in our own back yard. It sent a chill down my spine and made me wonder "what if that happened here?" Watching the news footage that showed the treatment of the children in the hospital was disturbing. I can't believe children could be treated that way. Also unsettling was the game Andre Rand played with the documentary filmmakers. This is a great documentary, but I can't say it has enough entertainment value to watch it again. I'll give it a Bad, but I'm glad I watched it.

Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

Jason: What should have been a critic-proof movie ends up being an epic fail of a Grade-Z mockbuster. This is so bad Ed Wood should be proud to call himself a filmmaker. All I wanted was a so-bad-it's-good experience. Instead, all I got was a bad.  The actors took themselves too seriously and the timeline was all over the map. Those are just a few of the many issues I had with this disaster of a movie. I could forgive its faults if I had a good time watching it, but I didn't. And it rates an Ugly because of it.

Shawn: The lack of continuity really bothered me. The characters jumped from the warship to the helicopter then back to the warship without explanation. The monsters were in Florida, then Panama, then the Pacific Ocean and over to the Atlantic without explanation. How did that Zodiac get on the beach? I get a headache just thinking about it, and it really ruined the movie for me. I wanted to give it a good, but this is so bad it's an Ugly.

Next on the chopping block: Cropsey and Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

Ladies and gentlemen, after a three-week absence, The Basement is reopen! And what better way to celebrate than by watching the much anticipated sequel to a Basement favourite: Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus?

Shawn, Anthony Michael Bosa and I make no bones about our love for The Asylum's cheesy low-budget monster mashup. So, when the studio announced a sequel was in the works, we got real excited. When that sequel was named Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus, we fell out of our chairs. Does it matter that crocosaurus isn't even a word? No! It's all about watching monsters smash stuff and try to eat each other.

Tonight we'll let our awesome and sexy listeners know what we thought about this potentially awesome film. And Anthony Michael Bosa has demanded that he be in The Basement Studio at The X just for the occaision.

And yes, that's Urkel himself, Jaleel White, in the above picture.

Our second film of the evening is the polar opposite to Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus. Cropsey is a documentary about an urban legend that haunted filmmakers Barbara Brancaccio and Joshua Zeman while they grew up in Staten Island, NY. In the film, Brancaccio and Zeman return to their childhood home to investigate the myth about the elusive boogeyman who allegedly lived in the abandoned ruins of the notorious Willowbrook Mental Institution, which he used as a base for abducting and killing local children.

Sounds like it could be heavy and creepy stuff, but we haven't had great luck with documentaries in The Basement. Is Cropsey another Restrepo or more on par with Blood Into Wine? Tune in tonight!

We've also got the latest movie news, a bunch of music for your ear hole and a few other surprises up our sleeves. And there's Anthony Michael Bosa. Admit it, you're as excited to tune in to 92.5FM CFBX Kamloops or head online to www.thex.ca at 10 p.m. PST as we are to be back on the air.

Now for some previews:

Cropsey



Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus