Time Warp Booger Factor

Scene One: Yesterday

Husband is sitting on the couch watching Nascar because it’s Sunday and that’s what he does. I stagger in and throw myself on the loveseat with my hand on my forehead. It’s very dramatic.

Me: I think I’m getting sick.

Him: You catching a cold?

Me: I think so, I feel wonky.  Head full of boogers.

Him: Wonky?? Ok, go lay down for a while.

(This is a nice way of saying, I’m truly sorry that you’re not feeling well but I’m trying to watch the race.)

Me: No, I’m fine. You know how you feel the day you catch a cold?

Him: Yeah.

Me: Well, it’s not like that day.

Him: ........Okay??

Me: And you know how you feel the day before you catch a cold?

Him: Yeah.

Me: It’s not like that day either. It’s like the day before the day before you catch a cold. That’s how I feel.

Him: Really? Go take some Nyquil and go to bed.

I double dosed the Nyquil and slept the sleep of ten thousand babies.

Scene Two: This morning

Takes place on the back patio while drinking our coffee.

Him: You feeling better?

Me: Yes, I slept really well.

Him: So your cold is gone?

Me: Well, you know how you feel two days after your cold is gone?

Him: Yeah

Me: That’s how I feel.

Nyquil has time warp capabilities. That’s the only explanation. Somehow I went from two days before a cold to two days after a cold. With the cold duration factored in, I somehow went from Sunday to next Saturday.

Holly
xxx-ooo

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